I am going through a transition period with my art work. I know that its a positive thing because growth is coming, but its not fun because i am uncomfortable. Isn't that funny how growth and change only come with being uncomfortable? I hate being uncomfortable.. I want to come out on the other side already. I want to be more prolific than Pablo Picasso, and i want it now.
Living in today's internet world, its not always easy to let growth and evolution happen naturally. Sometimes I get overstimulated with images and videos. These things depict other people, other places, and other circumstances. I try not to compare myself or my work to others because I am my own person; but that's easier said then done. How do I stay un effected by circumstances that aren't my own with social media intake on a daily basis? How do i stay un effected by a results driven society in order to remain true to my work and why I set out on this path?
I believe that I must have faith. Faith that my path leads to where I am meant to be. When I can surrender to that notion I realize, I am already where I am meant to be; right now. During this moment in time, I can embrace life and every circumstance around me. On days like today, having faith is easy because today is a special day for me. While i was writing this blog post i received an email notifying me that my painting 'Personal Growth' had been selected by the students at Iowa State University for the Iowa State Acquisition. THE SCHOOL IS BUYING MY PAINTING, AND ADDING IT TO THEIR ART ON CAMPUS COLLECTION! What better way to see that i am on the right path, then to get an email like that! Most days aren't full of amazing emails. Some days, even as an artist, are just plain old days. I would even say some days are boring!
Some days, in order to get to that place of peace and acceptance it just takes a little reflecting. Reflecting on where i was a year ago, Two years ago, three years ago. Zooming out and looking at the big picture. When I reflect far back enough I remember mornings waking up in a homeless shelter, waking up on a sidewalk, waking up in a jail cell, waking up on a friends couch not knowing where I would sleep the next night.. What better way to find gratitude then reflecting on dark times like that?
Today, I woke up at the crack of dawn , next to a beautiful woman, with everything I need. Maybe my newest painting is not in the Metropolitan museum of art, or maybe I'm not inspired to paint at all today but that's okay; That's where I'm supposed to be. If I accept that and embrace it I can move forward. I can paint anyway. Maybe I will go do something else. Today I decided to write. AS im writing about my anxiety of not being one of the masters yet (as if i deserve that..) i get an email with the best news of my whole art career! WOW. Just as i was starting to complain, God reminded me that I am exactly where i need to be.
Im not where i want to be , but if i was what would there be left to do? I don't think ill ever be where i want to be. Life isn't about getting somewhere its about the process of going; Its the journey. No matter where you are you're exactly where you're supposed to be. When i was homeless, i was exactly where i was supposed to be. If you woke up today you have a choice. You can take your steps forward and enjoy each step, or you could wish you were somewhere, someone, or something else.